Don't arrest me.
No photos. Please, don't arrest me.
They would like to take a picture with you.
-Are they going to pay? -Yes.
Hey, what's going on?
I brought porcelain from China.
So many. Ask if they're interested.
Share with me what you earn.
These objects are 7,000 years old.
Very good.
Tell them we accept foreign currency.
And credit cards as well.
Look, very cheap T-shirts.
-You... -Shameless. You trick foreigners.
It's not cheating. I'm just smart.
-You're competing with me? -You're crazy. The customers aren't yours.
What are you doing? This is not a market.
Run!
Police! Run!
Go away.
Leave them. We got a call from the headquarters. Let's go.
Hey, everybody. Look.
What is he doing now?
Take a picture. Quick, here.
I'm lucky I wasn't caught.
Romeo, there's a call for you.
-This is Romeo, who is it? -This is Romeo, who is it?
I'm here.
It's for me.
Hi, Chen. What's up?
Shen, I'm getting married.
What? I love you so much. How could you?
My mom said I must marry a rich man. Love is useless.
You're kidding, right? Calm down.
I'm coming for you. Where are you?
-Chen? -Chen, hurry up.
I have to go. I'm late.
So be it.
Chen, no! I beg you!
I'm in a hurry for the wedding.
Hey!
Sir!
What's up, little friend?
Open it for me, please.
No problem. Hold on.
Mom, hurry. I got a taxi.
Get out of my way.
Hey!
You're an adult, but you got fooled by a kid.
Shame on you.
Go.
Do you have red bean ice cream?
No, we don't.
Nuts.
Come on!
Faster!
Hey!
Chen, wait for me!
Excuse me!
Chen, don't marry him!
-Chen! -What's wrong?
Don't bother. Get in the car, it's time.
Get out of my way!
Get in the car and chase them!
Chen!
Don't stop the car. This guy is mad!
Chen!
Go away!
I tell you to stop.
Get out!
You crazy, get out!
Get out now!
You get out!
-Chen! -Let go of her!
Chen, don't be so rash!
Listen to me, you must not marry him!
Why are you stopping me from marrying him?
Why are you breaking us up?
Don't try to run away.
Sorry, I made a mistake.
I wish you a long, happy marriage.
I don't want to see him again, fix him.
Fix him, beat him.
Wait, stay back. Leave him to me.
Fuck you!
Master.
You die or I die.
What the hell?
-Master, what happened to you? -Jerk, what are you doing here?
Mopping the floor.
Hey!
Don't worry, he won't die.
-Shen. -Shen.
Ladies, good morning.
Good morning.
Why are you doing laundry? The washing machine isn't working.
Somebody's repairing it.
Give me the spanner, please.
Thank you.
-Shen, it's been a long time. -That's right.
-Yes. -Here I come.
-And you brought something? -Yes.
Is it for us?
You're so clever, ma'am.
I bought two bottles of magic water from mainland China.
It's for women, good for health and beauty.
For men, it can make you a man again.
-Really? -Really?
I don't need it, save it for yourselves.
Don't you dare reject it.
It's for your sake.
-How much does it cost? We'll pay you. -Right.
No need, it's very cheap.
-We're like family, no need. -Of course, we should pay.
-Take it, it's okay. -No...
When I said 20 to 30 cents, I meant two to three thousand.
All right, we're family, just take it.
You worked so hard to earn 30 cents?
Never mind.
I barely see you now.
Busy going out with Chen?
Don't mention Chen again. I dumped her.
Why?
Why not? She's...
Snobbish, slutty, and low class.
Who's talking behind our backs?
It's him.
No, I'm talking about the bitch downstairs.
She's good at seducing men.
Yes.
-Damn you. -Wait.
-Spend them wisely. -Oh, thank you.
Master,
ever since I left the orphanage with you...
No, I don't have a light.
You never taught me how to get a girl.
Girls? Don't mention it again.
If I had been careful about girls,
I wouldn't have been so lousy today.
The four beauties there, I chased and got them in a day.
They are my wives now, and they are playing mahjong together.
So what?
Good.
Good, okay, you can have them all.
I said, good God.
Good, now you understand.
So, men like us
should never talk about love.
We only talk about money.
For money, we should be bloodless.
That far? Really?
Do you want to be outstanding?
Yes.
Then listen to me, be bloodless.
I got it, master.
Good.
What are you doing?
Give me back 30 cents.
-What? -Pretend no more, give them back.
No, I didn't.
You didn't? You old fool.
Give me back 30 cents! Now!
Good, kid, you learned it from me.
You will be great.
-Taxi! -I got here first.
-It's mine. -Mine!
-I came here first! -I'm old, I have priority.
-The taxi's mine. -Help me!
Help!
Please, somebody, help me.
-Are you all right? -What a pity.
-How can I help you? -I'm all right. You're all very kind.
I'm in a hurry for the hospital
to receive a transplant surgery.
I can't get a taxi. Is this a taxi?
-Taxi? No. -Taxi? No.
Shit, it's my taxi, how dare you?
Aim for those eyes.
Get going!
-That bitch got it. -How unfair.
-Yes. -What now?
What now? Get another one!
Hello, do you need a drive?
I'll give you a ride.
It's so kind of you.
It's hard to find someone empathetic like you in Hong Kong.
It's hard to get a taxi here.
And we should help the disabled.
Thank you.
-Where are you going? -The Hong Kong-Macau Harbor.
To pick a friend up?
I got some money for a game there.
Gambling by hearing?
I hope I'm that good.
May I know the time, please?
It's 2:30.
Oh, we can still make it.
Is this car moving?
-Yes. -I'm just asking.
We're moving.
-Then hurry up, thank you. -All right.
What happened?
I ran someone down.
Hey, how are you?
Goodness! Ma'am, how are you?
It hurts. My leg's broken. Blood's everywhere. I need compensation.
I don't have enough money, wait.
Sir, can you lend me some money now? I need to pay her.
-Who? -An old lady I hit.
Let me have a look.
Ma'am, where are you?
It hurts. Give me compensation.
You want compensation?
-Yes. It hurts so much. -Are you dying?
I'll get the police if you don't pay me.
No, the police aren't here. We will wait for them.
There's a police officer here.
-Where? -I'm a police officer!
Ma'am, your leg is broken and bleeding. How did that happen?
Blind man, you hit her? You should pay her.
What if I don't pay?
I'll arrest you, aren't you afraid?
Why? I'm not going to die.
You can't shoot me here, right?
You think you're the Liberation Army?
-I'll get the Liberation Army. -Impossible!
Bastard.
Blind man, what are you doing here?
He hit her but he won't pay.
Pay, or I'll shoot you here!
I don't know Mandarin.
He told you to pay, or he will kill you!
Pay, or I'll shoot you here!
Whatever. The gun can kill me in a second.
I'm afraid of a dog biting me to death.
There's a dog.
What a coincidence.
Hey, doggie, why are you barking?
Telling you to pay quickly, or I'll bite you to death.
Please don't.
It's pathetic to be killed by you.
You played blind to fool me.
Right, I pretended to be blind.
I can't pretend I'm a dog or something.
I can't do that.
Sir, then we are both playing it smart--
I play it smart, and you play like a dog.
We better draw the line.
Sir, I owed them a lot.
They will get me if I don't pay back.
Show some tears for that.
Wait, I will.
For how long?
One second.
You can't even pass the test as an actress.
How could you join this trade?
Let me teach you some tricks.
All right.
Right on this road,
get down before a car and pretend you're hit.
Then you got a chance.
Watch out.
How are you?
Watch and learn.
My leg is broken, what now?
My car is damaged, too, what now?
It's easy.
One thousand dollars for your car
and another one thousand for my admiration for you.
What about your leg?
No worries, I should have died crossing the road blindly.
You only broke my leg.
I don't know how to thank you.
Get me to hospital.
Good luck to you!
Weird, that trick is--
See?
I taught you one more trick.
Drive on the road as you please.
Find a fool who crosses the road blindly.
Go and hit him, then ask for compensation.
You see what an example I've shown you?
You know it always works.
You're a genius.
You got my admiration.
Then pay for the tuition.
There's 5,000 for tuition, and 10,000 for demonstration.
It's a total of 17,000 dollars.
I think it's 15,000 dollars.
But I paid 2,000 dollars for you. Wake up!
-I have no money. -No?
-I really have none. I don't have it I... -Quit acting. Hurry up and pay!
Stop searching, I don't have money.
Where do you live? Go home and get the money.
I don't have a home, and my boyfriend dumped me.
Now I'm alone and helpless.
I only got this watch, it's from my mom.
You can take it as a down payment.
I'll pay to get it back when I got money.
Save it for yourself, I'm unlucky today.
Thank you.
Bitch, I've been looking for you. Pay me back!
-Hey! Stay right there. -Hey! Stay right there.
-Stop. -Now, where are you going?
Let me go.
It's not so easy.
Don't cry.
-Let me go. -Come here.
Hey.
Fool.
Walk faster!
Bitch!
You still don't have the money, and you try to run?
I'll teach a lesson!
What are you doing?
Let go of my girlfriend, or I'll call the police.
You got a blind man as a boyfriend, that's bad.
Trying to fool me, damned blind man.
Don't do it again.
Stand still.
You ducked all these, great job.
So you are--
That's right.
I am
The Blind Knight.
The Blind Knight?
You're tough.
Let's go.
Such big eyes. He can see, boss!
Why didn't you make it this time?
I was rolling my eyes to play blind.
Let the boss teach you a lesson.
Boss, you are so tough.
You're awesome with a sword.
I admire you, boss.
What, boss?
You're so scared that you sweat.
You could even read my fear.
This sword has been used for hara-kiri.
Hara-kiri... It takes great courage.
Where's the boss?
There.
Who killed you?
Tell me, l will avenge you.
Tell me, who killed you?
You fool me, too.
You play tricks with me, kid.
I'll kill you if you're not my brother.
Who are those two?
The girl refused to pay, and the guy backed her up.
Actually...
Actually, I'm not her boyfriend. It's a misunderstanding.
Who cares? Can you pay back the money?
Yes.
I'll pay just a bit later, right?
That's a no. Take photos of her.
What the hell?
I have nothing to do with this.
-Why am I involved? -Look here.
-This is all your fault. -Listen, I'll pay soon.
Bitch.
You have seven days.
If you can't pay by then,
you will be like this picture.
It's a good picture.
Right, good pose.
-I know, right? -Throw them out.
Go.
-I don't even know her. -Go.
Now! Hurry up.
Go.
You go, too.
Boss, he told the truth.
Take him here.
It's suffocating!
Your plastic surgery is quite good!
It won't come off even after three hours in the sauna. So you admit it now?
I admit it.
You used to look so handsome.
Why did you have surgery for this shit?
I had no other choice.
-Please spare me. -So that means you can return it?
Of course, I'll return the money.
Please give me a few more days.
I have something to propose to you
since both of us are friends.
The owner of this house is on vacation for a month.
Go and get those antiques for me.
You're telling me to steal for you?
Cheating is all I do.
Put him back in the sauna for a few more hours.
No. We can negotiate.
That's the right attitude.
You get the antiques for me, and you can take the furniture.
You sell them and pay me back.
The house is huge. There must be maids in there.
You're smart. What's the problem?
That's not a big deal, expert.
It's all sorted out.
What have I done wrong?
I'm punished for my good deed.
Sorry, I'll return the favor.
I don't want to see you again. Get lost.
Get lost.
Get lost now!
Now!
Bitch! You really went away!
You can't just walk away like that.
You sort things out for me.
I'll be killed too if you don't pay.
I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.
How will you make it up to me?
-I got it. -Got what?
-I can do it. -What can you do?
-I'll do it now. -Hey!
-My leg is broken. Pay me. -Can you even drive?
-It's broken. Where's the money? -My car is damaged!
-It hurts. Pay me for this. -What the hell?
Pay me. My leg is broken.
-Bitch, what are you even doing? -Oh no, how did this happen?
Pay me the compensation.
-Pay me the compensation. -What for?
-Hey, don't go! -Look after my car.
-You bastard.
See how damaged my car is.
Though you are an idiot,
who has a plain figure that's wearing an old-fashioned outfit,
you're trustworthy and brave.
I'll teach you something.
Thank you.
-Remember the plan? -I do.
We go in and take things. Aren't we thieves?
We are thieves if nobody is in there.
It is playing smart if there's somebody.
The beginning is always the hardest.
Now, let's see how to get there.
It takes true wisdom and great courage.
-I got them. -Those are things that you lack.
Look how I do it. Ring the bell.
Take it easy.
Come on in.
We are...
Come on in.
Quick.
What are you doing here?
We got a complaint...
Quiet. Don't wake my wife up.
We got a complaint about a gas leakage.
Such a strong smell.
-Yes, follow me to the kitchen. -What?
-Look for expensive things. -I know.
-Here's the switch. -Yes.
-How is it going? -Hold this for me.
You hear that sound?
Yes. The smell of gas is strong.
It seems serious. I'll call for help now.
Stay there.
-What the-- -It's dangerous. She was holding a knife.
Don't fear. Nobody's here.
Take some things and go.
You didn't have to kill her.
I...
How could you laugh at that?
I...
You're cruel.
You always mess things up.
Shit. I was holding a knife.
What the hell? You killed two? I'm calling the police.
Shut up and listen to me.
What do you have to say?
-Will you please leave me alone? -I didn't see the knife.
You want to kill me too?
No...
What are you doing?
It hurts.
Honey, what are they doing here?
They came to repair the gas pipe.
Right, we're here because of a gas leakage.
-Is it fixed? -I fixed it. What about you?
-Let's go. Sorry for disturbing you. -No problem.
You idiot. Why did you let them in?
Why didn't you tell me?
-You've been holding my neck. -How can I talk like that?
Of course, you can talk. Stupid.
It's one day closer to payment.
We need to put in some capital. Go and buy two tickets for Sara's concert.
What for?
To put them in somebody's mailbox. Everybody likes things that are free.
They will go to the concert, and nobody will be home then.
That's our time then, burglar.
No one is there. We will be thieves then.
I'm smart enough to make them leave, so that's still playing it smart.
And our target is?
This one.
-Wait, I'll just lock the door. -Where are we going today?
We're going to Macau.
-Really? But my boss might get mad. -It's great in Macau.
-No way, leave everything to me. -Well, okay, if you say so.
-We won't take long, okay? -Of course.
I got you, don't worry.
CHAN SING CLEANING SERVICES
This guy is smart.
-He's smooth with girls. -Shut up, get in.
Come on.
Wow, this is a big and beautiful house.
Don't look around.
For you. Be swift.
This is a pre-recorded audio. Please leave your message.
Chen, I got to know a tycoon's son called Jackie.
He's coming to Hong Kong for an investment.
Show hospitality, and you get tips for it.
-Glad it didn't break. -Wait.
Put the things back. I have an easy way to gain wealth.
Hurry up.
How may I help you?
-The head is coming back next month. -We got time to set up a trap.
-I'll pretend to be the head. -And fool that Jackie.
The antiques will be ours then.
Then we fool that Jackie.
It's a shame if we just let a chance go.
Boss, it's a good idea, right?
-I think the same way as you do. -I got it first.
No good idea could possibly come from him.
But since we're friends, I can help you.
And the money's share would be...
Half and half.
-Really? -You may borrow the antiques too.
You're so kind to me.
Do your best.
Of course. I won't disappoint you.
Why should we share with him equally?
It can make him try his best.
Fifty percent is still too much for it.
The rent for the antiques is just 50%.
Wow, then it comes back to us in the end.
You're smart.
-Hey, Fa. -Fa.
-Call me sir. -Yes, sir.
Sir, I found several concert tickets.
Don't be greedy, it will cost you.
Remember, go to work on time.
-Yes, sir. -Got it.
All we need now is a wife.
-Who is she? -Wow, she's challenging a man.
-All right. -She will lose.
-Come at me. -Fatty, I'll bet on you.
One, two, go.
-Wow. -You helped me win again.
-What? You think he cheated? -Yes.
-Let's do it again. -Let's do it.
-You think you will win this time? -Why not?
I don't believe it.
Come at me.
Ping, no one buys it anymore.
-Let's just call it a day. -We can't catch a break here.
Ping, we're leaving then.
See you, Ping.
Who's playing tricks on me?
Who?
It's me.
It's you.
It's me, of course.
It's really you?
I'm in bad mood, don't try me.
You don't recognize me? I'm Fa.
-Are you really Fa? -Yes.
No, stop!
Spare my life. Look at your bra first.
There's a coin.
That's the French coin you gave me.
Look carefully.
It's Fa.
-You are Fa? -I am.
You should've told me earlier.
What are you all looking at?
What happened to your face?
I did it to hide.
Why did you come to see me?
I come to you for...
If you want me to lend you money, then no. I could barely sustain myself.
You're kidding, we're old friends.
We were friends because you were hot then.
Now you look bad, we talk business only.
I have business to discuss with you.
Trust me, it's profitable.
Are you really Fa?
I told you I can't drink.
I can't drink at all.
You're naughty. I said no.
Naughty? Am I?
Am I?
Nobody's in the house now.
-How are you, dying? -No.
Give me all the credit cards.
What for?
To open the door.
It takes skills and steady hands.
Where's my card, it's a rare one I picked it up on the street.
Picked it up? You gave me a false one.
How did you know?
It's stuck in the door. You tell me whether it's fake or not!
Any more cards?
-A train ticket. -Give it to me, is this authentic?
-Yes. -Really?
Look, it opens.
We're rich.
-What are you doing? -This must be something worthy.
Do you think you can move that?
I can move this.
Get something you can put inside your bag.
This one, for example. Give me the bag.
Over here?
-I meant the upper pocket, not this one. -No pockets, just two holes.
These two? What kind of bag is this?
This is not a bag. It's a wallet. One for keys, one for coins.
-A wallet? -It's cool, right?
What happened?
Are you okay?
Okay, time's running short.
You look around for things that can fit in this bag.
I got it. For example?
Expensive pens, lighters, ashtrays.
Got it.
I found one.
Look, a luxury ashtray.
Hold that bag wide open, come on. Wider.
-What? Something on your mind? -Right.
-Tell me. -I don't feel like it.
-Any other way to express it? -Yes.
Hey!
You act as my wife now. Walk behind me.
Follow me.
Watch your manners. Walk steadily
and speak gently like a rich wife.
Ping!
It's you who's playing my husband.
You walk behind me. Chest up.
Eyes wide open.
Then you're like a rich husband, got it?
Got it!
I don't believe there's not even one thing I can put into this bag.
Yes, try it again.
This one.
Don't move!
Hey, that's my favorite.
-Lee. -Bullshit, that's Dumb Boy.
Lee.
-Dumb Boy. -Dumb boy he is then.
Say it again, you bastards!
What now?
Try to find a bigger bag.
This is a pre-recorded audio. Please leave your message.
Chen, that Jackie I mentioned, he will be one week late.
-I'll call you when it's set. -Oh, we're screwed.
None of your business.
Look, the concert tickets are here.
The owner will come back anytime. Run.
Mrs. Huang!
What now?
Where can we get a Mrs. Huang?
-Mrs. Huang? -What now?
-Act. -Who's doing the acting?
You, of course!
Something is wrong.
-Yes, I'll contact the HQ. -Okay.
Who are you?
-Are you Mrs. Huang? -Yes.
Excuse me, but somebody complained about your noise.
-Honey, come to bed. -We hope...
Please pay attention next time. Good night.
Okay, bye.
Ping, we can quit after this one.
We? Why we?
We're the best duo.
We were.
-That's history. -I know you're nostalgic.
So I kept the coin. I knew you wouldn't recognize me.
But you were so happy when you saw that coin.
I know you still miss me.
-Are you talking about this? -Right.
Wait. Why did you do that?
I don't know what you will do after you become rich.
I threw it away and ended it. I have no weak point now.
Why? You still doubt me?
Right, I don't believe you're Fa.
-Hurry. -Wait for me to clean this.
Don't come out, somebody's here.
Don't leave me here.
-Is that him? -That Jackie?
-Can I come out now? -Shut up.
He rang the bell! He's Jackie.
-What? Jackie? -Act well, move now.
-How can I act? I've never been there. -Just try.
Be patient, I think they are leaving.
You...
You must have waited for long.
No, it's just been half an hour. I did nothing.
Jackie, welcome!
Thanks.
Very good.
Honey, meet Jackie.
With that American style.
Hello, Jackie, welcome!
The long trip must be tiring. Get in.
Get in?
You arrived early.
-You tried to surprise us, right? -Yes.
-Make yourself at home -You're sweet.
Honey, I'm going to make a call.
Show Jackie around.
Jackie, have a seat, please.
Have a seat.
I'm behind you.
You've got a big house.
Not too bad.
What am I going to do now?
I'll distract her and you go.
Ma'am, can you show me where the restroom is?
Restroom?
Of course, follow me.
Thank you.
Hi, Jane, how's Apple? Follow my plans.
Coming? No problem.
-We will come to see you later, bye. -It's downstairs.
We're almost there.
The restroom is right in here.
Please.
Restroom?
I don't know.
You know where the restroom is, don't you?
I really don't know.
She meant she didn't know
if you have seen such a modern restroom.
Let me explain it.
It's designed to look like a bedroom.
This is not a bed.
There's a high-tech system that leads to the ocean.
Really?
Careful not to drop into it. Let's go to another one.
I haven't tried anything this modern.
Should we have a try?
Why not?
This is convenient.
-Technology always astonishes me. -Yes.
Let me try it for a dump later.
Was that too much?
It's 35 dollars, thank you.
What a pervert.
Open the door.
Well, you will have a chance to use it again.
I'll introduce someone to you first.
There's a girl outside.
-Oh, is it our girl? Open the door. -Yes?
-She just got back from a party. -She must have had fun.
-Let me introduce you. -Okay.
I don't take jobs from women.
What? You as my daughter? Come in.
She's trained as a model.
Apple, you're home, say hello to Jackie.
Hi, Jackie.
-What are you doing? -It felt wrong to leave like that.
-So I came back to save you. -Hey.
Who told you I'm leaving?
You're staying for those big tits, right?
So what? I knew she likes me at first sight.
I'll act on.
Big money, if we can get them.
What if they find out?
Remember the voice message.
Jackie won't come a week later.
So we have plenty of time.
-Okay, we can be partners again. -Hey.
I think you should go home for a rest.
Why? You think I'm getting in your way?
No, I think you're exhausted.
So you need some rest.
-Do you think I need any improvements? -No.
You're perfect.
I've been through some tough times.
But I think I'm not yet perfect.
Well, work hard on that.
I know.
Bye.
Why didn't I kill her?
Why? I'm too soft.
-Apple, wake up. Get up. -I want more beer.
You found a drunk whore to act as my daughter?
How can I find a good one now?
She's rare. You don't find hookers like her anymore.
Screw you. Get up!
-What are you doing? -Get up.
-Stop that! -Get up.
No, stop that.
Hello, Apple.
Fa, you haven't come for a long time.
Apple, I think that guy is obsessed with you.
You act as my daughter and get him. We will be so rich.
You want me to act like a lady. That's easy.
Easy?
An upper-class lady, not a whore.
Hey, bitch. Who are you?
Bitch! Did you call me bitch?
Okay, she's acting as my wife, and you as my daughter.
We're a family.
Apple, how long will it take you to get him?
One week.
That's too long. Can you make it sooner?
Three days.
Sooner?
One day.
Good.
Let's go.
Any sooner?
That's easy.
Don't look. Get out.
Wait for me!
Going swimming?
Good morning, you're so early.
-Good morning. How's your day? -Jackie, Daddy. Come and have breakfast.
-I'm coming. -Be quick.
Hey, wake that woman up.
-Or else, you won't get paid. -Yes, ma'am.
How have you been all this time?
I have a project on the security system in the new airport.
For catching thieves?
None of my business.
None of your business?
The security system helps catch thieves.
Right, anti-theft.
-Big business. -What are you busy with?
Insurance.
Aren't you scamming?
Scamming? How do you know?
There's no difference between them.
Don't put it that way. It's profitable, right?
Of course. I'm just kidding.
You two come here and talk.
There's a call from a company
about a contract worth five million dollars.
It's not a big number.
Where's our daughter?
-I've told her to come down for breakfast. -Daddy.
Fuck it.
Are you okay?
I'm okay. The floor is not too hard.
Right? Oh, it's really soft.
Do it again.
Jackie, I'm sorry about last night.
It's okay. I feel sorry as well.
Perhaps it's your fate.
You're mean, Daddy. You're mocking me.
She's shy.
Shy girls like you in Hong Kong
are hard to find.
You're mocking me, too.
-She's not only shy. I can tell you more. -More?
For example...
Oh, I love sausages. That's a pity.
-I'm sorry, let me help you. -It's greasy.
Ms. Apple, to express my apology...
It's not necessary.
I'll do anything to please you.
You fool, I don't blame you.
Thanks. I'll get changed, excuse me.
What an idiot.
Easy to fool. He's practically drooling over you.
-Of course. -You're something.
Look at you, you are still a hooker.
Hey, what did you say? If you don't like how I'm doing things,
you do it yourself.
No problem.
All right, stop fighting.
Apple, change your clothes and don't drink.
Ping, what's up with you?
Of course, you're on her side.
This is business, don't be jealous.
Jealous? No way.
Do you have a few hundred thousand dollars with you?
Yes, I do.
Well, my dad has transferred five million US dollars to me.
But I haven't got it, so I'm thinking...
I'm sorry.
You have a credit card. You can use it to pay.
Card?
Credit card.
Right, credit card?
I almost forgot.
But you can't use it in every place, like parking.
-You've got to have cash, right? -Parking, right.
-How much do you need? -Around 20 to 30 thousand dollars.
Around 20 to 30 thousand dollars? Apple can handle it.
-Really? -Don't worry, she doesn't care about it.
Apple handles it, no problem.
Really?
But Apple can't pay everything for me.
-What? -Just like the restroom.
You've got to pay 1,000 dollars for tips at the restroom, right?
Tips are not the problem,
but the people standing there watching you.
Exactly, I hate those people staring at you.
Oh, I remember. There's a hotel at the airport.
They've got such big restrooms there.
-Really? -Remember, trust me, that hotel.
-Really? -Don't forget.
Shit, sand got into my nail.
-Find something for me. -I'm looking for a nail cutter.
Give me a piece of paper, I can use the edge to pick it out.
Newspapers are too soft, use dollar bills.
Quick, show the money, come on.
-Ten-dollar notes are the hardest. -Of course.
It works.
Sorry, I made it dirty.
It's okay.
All set, thank you.
-Jackie, can we go now? -Yes.
You've got to put in some investment.
What about here?
Thanks.
What do you want?
-Ice-cream. -Okay.
-I want those on the trolley. -No problem, I'll get it for you.
What are you doing, sir?
-Picking the leaves. -You liar, you're peeking at her breasts.
-I didn't. -You are shameless.
You did it in such a decent place.
Have you got any traditional Chinese virtues?
You're not qualified to be a Chinese, not even a man.
I don't want to see you again, go away.
I said go away.
Forget it.
I'll buy ice cream for you.
What are you doing there?
To see if there is any ice cream.
Apple, watch out.
Many perverts are staring at you.
Thank you.
I'll go for ice cream.
Is the ice cream up there?
No, I've checked it, I'll go outside.
What do you need, miss?
-Got a light? -Yes.
Apple, I've been looking for you. Why didn't you answer my call?
What is your decision?
Chin, I'll give you the answer later.
What's bothering you? I'm so nice to you, just marry me.
I'll answer you later.
I have a date.
I've been so nice to you, please marry me.
-Say yes and marry me. -Chin, go.
-I can give everything to you, even my... -I have a date.
You're getting married? I can't take it.
I'll follow you everywhere.
Can I go with you?
"Don't get married, or I'll follow you."
"Can I go with you?"
Kid, you're trying to scare me off?
You chase women that way?
You're not qualified.
-I'm kidding. -I'm not kidding.
Forget it, let's sit and talk.
Okay, we can have a talk.
Excuse me, what manner is that?
Don't be so rude in this decent place.
We do it by fair competition.
No nonsense talk.
Say anything you want to say.
You ruined my ice cream!
Damn you!
You made me do it.
No...
-Run! -What?
-Sir, do you need an ambulance? -How disgusting...
That's disgusting. Give me some water.
You're so disgusting.
I did it for you.
I don't believe it.
You're too smart to be cheated.
I can never cheat you then.
Believe me, this spell works.
Cut his nails on the left foot.
Add a few drops of his tears. Mix well.
Lastly, add this magic oil I made. He will do whatever you say.
Got it?
-Make him drink? -Yes.
-What if I miss one of the ingredients? -That's bad.
If he only drinks the oil, he will become a woman.
A woman?
You call his name three times after he drinks it. And then...
The man becomes a woman.
Master.
And this is the cure. Use it when there's an emergency.
Don't worry. I won't need it.
You don't need to be afraid of those big tits then.
-Thank you. -No worries.
Doctor, please help me.
You've got to make a careful decision.
I think you're not stupid.
The surgery will affect your life.
Doctor, to be honest, I earn a living by playing it smart.
So it's important to me.
Doctor, help me.
Well, then let me try.
See, I told you.
Thirty-eight inches is the record in Hong Kong,
-you asked for fifty-nine. -I can take it.
It's good to have a test first.
You're dead if this is real.
Sorry. I was wrong.
Apple, I always have a feeling
that we've known each other for long.
-Yes, I got that feeling, too. -Finished?
That's fate.
Yes.
Apple, to be honest,
I like you very much.
-Come to my room tonight. -Okay.
I promise you, we will just have a talk tonight.
What, just a talk?
What do you want then?
Can we watch TV together?
Of course, TV.
I swear, just talk and TV.
I'm not worried then.
I'm going to the restroom. Excuse me.
Okay.
A real idiot.
-Why didn't you tell me earlier? -It's none of your business.
I've asked the sexy girl to come to my room.
Get the camera ready.
Take some pictures tonight.
I got it.
We can blackmail her parents using those.
-I got it. -Get ready.
Apple, shall we go now?
You didn't tell me what pictures I shall take.
Apple.
-Damn it. -What?
We're lucky she's drunk, or you've already screwed it up!
You didn't tell me what to take.
The scene of us doing it on the bed.
I got it.
Now she's drunk, how could she make it tonight?
Let's do it this way.
Wait in her room at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.
-I got it. -Hey.
Give me 50 dollars.
I only have three hundred dollar bills.
What the hell are you doing? Give it to me.
All right, get lost.
The bill.
-Sir, do you need help? -Got a light?
Yes.
-Good day. -Good, this is for you.
Thank you.
Apple, wake up.
I told you not to drink. You wasted another day.
-Fa, I have an idea. -Wait for a moment.
-It's-- -As for you, sleep with him now.
I'll take pictures of you, go.
It's so early, don't know if he wants it.
Just make him.
-Just do it. -How can I?
-Listen to me. -Wash your face quickly.
-You listen to me. -Wait, I've got an important thing to do.
Don't know if you can handle it.
No problem.
Remember every detail.
Four steaks, all rare, served with chips.
Russian soup without onions, 1941 wine.
Remember, do it fast and well.
-Wait, you have something to tell me? -Yes, I'm trying to say...
Wait, tell me when you finish it.
Go now.
-Are you okay? -Yes.
I can handle that guy by myself.
It's easy to get his tears.
Good morning.
Good morning, why are you crying, ma'am?
Nothing.
I worry that you won't like the food.
No, I like raw onion.
Does that sting your eyes?
I like it, it doesn't. Don't cry, I'll cry, too.
-Is it true? -True.
Don't be silly, you really think I'll cry?
Hurry up, we all rely on you now.
-Hi, morning. -Hi, Apple.
Jackie.
Apple.
Sorry I was too drunk to come last night.
I'm here to talk to you now.
I'm a guest in your house.
I'm afraid it's not so good to do it here.
No! Mom and Dad treat you as a family member.
True. But this is a guest room anyway.
I don't feel at home.
I think it will be better in your room.
Well?
Okay, right now.
Shall we change our position?
Okay.
Wait.
It occurs to me I got some business today.
-Me, too. -Oh, yes?
So, do you really want it now, or should we do it tomorrow?
-No hurry, some other day is fine. -Good, please.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I'm making the bed for you.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Could you clean the restroom for me too?
-No problem. -Thanks.
My hope's in this glass.
Don't blame me, it's your bad luck.
It's your own bad luck.
We will succeed this time.
With the picture, he must pay this time.
With pictures, this plan is perfect.
If I don't come out in one hour, you come in to meddle.
-I got it. -Take me out no matter what happens.
Meddling is my expertise.
It will determine our career.
I'll make the world know
how you play it smart.
You...
-I'm feeling lucky today. -So do I.
You're laughing?
Why not?
Kid, how could you rape my daughter?
Daddy.
What do you mean?
Trying to deny it? I have a picture as evidence.
Now you can't deny it.
Look at you. Compensate my daughter,
or I'll send you to the police.
We can only see your daughter in this picture.
How can you prove that's me?
Look carefully.
Don't mention it anymore. Let's have a drink.
Come on, cheers.
You're still drinking?
Why not?
Your daughter raped me.
Look.
How could you?
Your daughter raped me, and this is evidence.
You will lose your reputation if I make it public.
How would you keep your dignity?
Unless you compensate me.
It's just you in the picture.
Who knows who that girl is?
That's right.
All right, it's enough.
Come on, cheers.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Now, I have two pictures. The evidence is here.
What do you say?
Hold on.
If you want the picture back, you have to pay me first.
What now?
You fell for my trap.
It's your downfall.
What does that mean?
I've put an evil potion into your juice.
If I call your name three times, you will become a woman.
You're evil.
Give me the money.
Nobody can undo the potion except me.
I won't give you the money.
Undo the charm, or I'll release the photo to the public.
If you make it public, she will call your name.
I'll call your name!
I'll release this to the public if you do it.
-If you do that, she will call your name. -I'll call your name.
I'll make it public now.
Call his name!
-Jackie. -No, I don't want to become a woman.
-Jackie! -No!
I did it.
Your potion is useless to me.
Why didn't it work?
I'll tell you why. I'm not Jackie.
I'm an imposter!
Pay me now.
We're also imposters. She's not my daughter.
Really?
I'm telling you the truth.
We're all imposters.
Really? It's all right then.
-Everybody is fake. -Yes.
-What a rare coincidence. -Right.
-Cheers! -Cheers!
-Who are you? -Who are you?
Who are you?
Hey! Stop!
I can't throw it.
-This way. -No!
-That way. -No.
Who the hell are you?
I never tell anyone my name in this evil world.
Then leave your head if you won't tell.
I've been alone all my life, and this head is my only company.
And now, you want to take it away.
-I won't give it to you so easily. -Okay.
You made me do it. Today, your blood will stain the sea.
I've been to a lot of places,
like a lonely boat on this big sea.
I don't care about life and death.
Okay, then try this.
My invincible killing tai chi technique.
Tai chi, you said?
That's bullshit.
Damn, kid. You will die with me.
-Who the hell are you? -You tell me first.
-Will you tell me if I told you? -Why not?
-I'm Chow. -I'm Shen.
You're Chow?
You're Shen?
-I am. -Shen?
Shen!
-It's you. I'm Bo Bo. -Bo Bo?
We grew up together in the orphanage.
It's you, Bo Bo! Now, I remember!
-You've grown a lot. -Yes.
No wonder I can't recognize you.
-What are you doing now? -Playing it smart for a living.
-Playing it smart? -That means doing nothing but cheat.
You bastard, you almost killed me!
Stop! We all do the same business.
-Get out of my way. -Fa!
-Leave me alone. -Go after him.
Hey!
You're leaving just like that?
How can I recognize you next time you change your appearance??
You don't have to.
No way, you owe me my salary. You can't quit.
Keep the coin.
Or I won't be able to recognize you next time.
You kept it! I know you're sentimental.
Now, get back. Stop laughing.
We still need to get that money.
Among people who play it smart,
we're all the best ones.
The problem we're facing now is not too difficult to solve.
Fa, any comments?
According to my experience,
it's not difficult. Do you agree, Ping?
Yes, piece of cake.
But I think Apple can handle it alone.
Of course, it's easy for me.
But we should respect Shen.
Thank you, but I think
if we can have Fa as our leader,
we will be invincible.
Of course, but Ping's got some good ideas.
Elaborate on it.
Well, my Cantonese sucks.
But my idea is similar to Apple's.
Apple, why don't you tell them?
In fact, we only know the old ways.
Let's listen to Shen for something new.
Right, my plan
will amaze you all and the world.
So please remain calm.
-What? -What is it?
My plan is to eat first.
It's great.
-Get out of my way! -Hey...
Get away!
A friend.
-My belly is so big. -Quit acting, these are my partners.
-Let's go. How can I tell others? -Quit acting!
-We're all in the same team. -Look at my belly, come with me.
She's paying so much effort.
I told you to pretend, but not anymore. Listen to me. Shut up! You want me to...
I've got a plan. Let's just follow the course
and act until the end.
First, I'll act as that rich man
to deal with your creditor.
Then you act as the house owner to settle my creditor.
That solves the problem.
-That's right. -That's right.
-All right? -How come I didn't think of that?
Get up.
You inspired me. Great job this time.
In fact, I can do it better, look.
Keep on working on it then.
All right, you keep trying. This time I'll ask my master.
Maybe we don't have to pay, and we can make money out of it.
Oh, it's great.
If Fa is honest, that's a big business.
I don't know if it's a trick.
He wouldn't dare.
Everybody move, come on.
Check if he's ready.
Hey.
-Well? Where's that Jackie? -Coming down.
-You memorize the script? -Of course.
Are you sure?
-Don't worry, I saw him reciting it. -I can recite it to you now.
-Okay, good. -Hurry.
This is a good place. Are the antiques I lent you intact?
Of course, I've been very careful.
They are perfect.
Well?
Mr. Wu, would you come over here? Meet Jackie.
Great view.
-Hey, what are you doing? -Jackie.
Mr. Wu, this is Jackie.
Daddy, Uncle. Jackie, this is Mr. Wu. Please come to say hello.
-How are you, Mr. Wu? -How are you?
Let's have a seat and talk.
Come on, have a seat, please.
-You're acting as his son? -Yes.
-Suits you, you're both ugly. -Yes.
Hey, you know him?
He's my creditor.
What?
He just... Not a problem. Sit down, please.
Shit! We have the same creditor.
Jackie, Mr. Wu is our financial consultant.
Please tell him about the plan.
Is there a problem?
-I'll try my best. -Try your best.
I plan to develop the site of the old orphanage.
So I'm using one million to bribe the head
to sign the contract with us.
But I heard, there are many syndicates checking out that site.
So I wish it can be settled as soon as possible.
We haven't received the phone call yet, but it's urgent now.
So I would like to borrow one million.
If he owns the land, why should he take the bribe?
He's not the owner, he's responsible for the contract only.
He said tomorrow is the deadline,
or he might sign it with others.
Who is that head?
I haven't seen him before.
I'll go with the company's endorsement.
If you can't support me, I'll find someone else.
Boss, do you think the trade is good?
I don't think so.
I'm not familiar with real estate, and what you said is ambiguous.
I would rather not take the risk.
Well, we can team up next time.
Sorry about that.
Mr. Wu, what have you done?
What are you doing?
You!
No, it's none of her business.
I mean you.
It's none of my business, either.
-It's screwed. -Let's wait and see.
You act as Jackie and sign the contract.
Me? No way, I'm a man.
Are you deaf? She said the head has never met Jackie.
Boss, you want to buy that land?
Me? I don't pay to get things.
Didn't you hear him? It's a big business.
If we make the head sign the contract,
we can get countless money.
-You! -Yes?
Watch that woman closely.
What about our debts?
It will be waived if that pushes through.
-Follow me. -Thank you.
Let's go!
-He took Shen. -Calm down.
One gets fooled when he thinks he's smart.
True.
Oh, shit, what should we do now?
It's not over yet, follow the plan.
-We need Shen to play Jackie after all. -Right.
Listen to me, tomorrow,
apart from my four wives,
I need someone with wisdom and courage.
Me!
Girl, you do have guts.
Wait for me to come back with a million dollars.
Here we are.
Get off, quickly.
If anything happens, let me know immediately, got it?
Hey, quick.
-You're always slow, get ready. -Come on.
Hand in your homework on time.
-Yes, headmaster. -You may go.
This way, please, gentlemen.
Headmaster, they said they are here for pest control.
Did we order such service?
We received an order from this address.
Take a look.
We didn't order that, you're mistaken.
May I borrow the phone?
What happened to you?
The condition's severe.
Help my assistant out of here. I need this area cleared now.
Get her out, quickly.
Don't come back unless I call you.
-You will be all right. -Don't be afraid. Deep breaths.
Act well later. Don't mess things up.
You will die if you screw it.
All settled?
-Remember every detail, got it? -Got it.
Kid, where's the headmaster's office?
It's upstairs.
Wait for me here.
This way, let's go.
They are coming, quick.
-Coming. -They're coming.
Calm down, go get ready.
Yes, we've talked to the headmaster.
He only accepts cash, no checks.
Okay, we will talk later.
You may leave it here.
The headmaster will contact you later. See you.
-See you. -How may I help you?
I'm Jackie from the US.
-Jackie? The headmaster is waiting. -Good.
This is Mr. Jackie.
You are Jackie?
-This is Jackie, I'm his partner. -You're dismissed.
This is the recommendation letter.
Headmaster, on the land...
Mary, will you leave us alone?
-What for? -Go for some fresh air.
Go.
Why are you so late?
Look, there are four contracts waiting for me.
I'm afraid the old deal's canceled.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Headmaster, we can talk about the price.
Here's the money.
Watch it, that...
-We're tapped? -Yes, let's go outside.
-Quick. -Clean the room now.
Can we call it a deal?
I think I'm all right.
-My colleague has finished it, let's go. -Okay, let's go.
I take great risk under the investigation.
Look at the contract first.
Don't fuss with the little money.
Oh, yes.
You sign it, and the money's all yours.
More.
-What? More? Just sign it. -It's not enough, more.
-Don't be so fussy. -More.
-Why can't you just sign it? -Calm down! Do you want to be dead?
Just accept it and sign it. It's good for everybody, right?
Hurry up! I'm sorry, headmaster.
I'm all right, thank you.
Done, it's my credit.
Hey, what are you doing here?
-It's screwed. He found out. -How come?
It's screwed.
Thank you.
I should thank you.
-No, you're humble. -Thanks, headmaster.
It's screwed, he found out!
Run, boss. I'm ready to sacrifice for you.
-You're a good friend. -Thank you.
-The debt's off. -Hurry.
It's screwed!
-Go! -It's screwed!
-How come? -I don't know, the bitch said it.
Which one?
That one, over there.
Step back.
Shit, it's not the headmaster. It was a scam.
Stay right there!
Don't run! That way.
Right.
Boss, I'll stop them, you go.
You will stop them for me?
You go.
You're still acting? You're trying to run?
-Come over here. -Yes.
-What do you want? -Nothing.
-You can't come over here. -We're looking around.
It's locked.
-Mister. -Stand back.
Get out of here!
Quickly.
Let me go.
That bastard's beating my brother.
Go.
-Come in. -Let me go.
One more.
Where's that bastard?
Son of a bitch! You beat my brother, and I'll kill you.
Where is he?
He's thrown out.
Wu!
Who has done such a cruel thing to you? Tell me.
Louder, I can't hear it.
Louder!
Who did this to you?
Did you see who beat my brother? How does he look like?
I saw him.
He had long hair and a beard.
Like a madman.
He looks like you.
We tried to help, but he's too tough.
He's too tough.
I'll get revenge when I see him again.
I'll kill him for my brother.
Cool down. Send him to the hospital for medical care.
Yes, go on.
Thank you.
We are just trying to help.
I'll pay you back if I have the chance.
It's okay.
Let's go!
Don't worry. I'm with you.
All done.
One million.
I've never seen so much money.
-Me neither. -Me neither.
No, this is only a small fraction.
Right, even since I was born...
I've never cared about money.
Yes, when I was flirting with girls...
The tips I gave them are more than this, right?
Right, look at yourselves.
So emotional about little money, you're an embarrassment.
God.
Watch out!
Mr. Wu.
Mr. Wu, your syndicate offers one million to get the culprit.
Yes, that bloodless culprit must be found
as justice for my brother.
Oh, no. I didn't mean it.
-I'll take revenge for you. -Someone fell down.
There is an accident here.
The president of Jen-I Group fell down the stairs
and is seriously wounded.
This is Huang for KTV.
This is a perfect plan.
-Perfect. -It's outstanding.
Right.
Hey! Is the room cleaned?
Yes, there's no evidence left.
The owner won't find anything.
What about fingerprints?
So you haven't finished yet.
I've wiped them out with towels.
And the towels are burned to ash.
The ash is mixed with earthworms to feed the fish in the sea.
I've caught the fish for breakfast and I've eaten it this morning.
After digesting,
the evidence has become shit.
-Great. -Great.
And I left it in the modern restroom.
I think it's in the ocean now.
What restroom?
The one you showed me where the lavatory is shaped like a bed.
I was forced to tell a lie about it.
-It is a real bed. -Right.
This...
It's okay. It's only shit.
Right.
Keep it.
Hurry up.
Where's the key?
It's in the room.
Open the door!
Subtitle translation by Jacqueline Fong